Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
