he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
