If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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