He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
FUCK WHALES
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
