Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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