I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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