you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
