I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I forget how to act sober
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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