oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
