I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
