You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Semen is not good for contacts.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
