He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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