I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
