Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
ugly people sure do ruin things
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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