I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
