I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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