no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
