I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
