WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
