Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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