did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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