question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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