The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
