Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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