Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
