he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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