I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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