i permit you to call me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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