I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
