Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
