I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
