I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
