Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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