carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
