Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
