i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
