I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
