hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
