we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
