The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
