the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
