She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
