No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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