You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
