On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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