Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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