When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
