I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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