I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
