I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
smell my finger.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
