i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
