I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
