You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize