it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
