you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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