remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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