don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
