The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
