She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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