Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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